Magic Tree

Daddy, please Daddy, I’m having a real problem, I feel so ill, 

Daddy it’s all gone wrong, so wrong, I think I need some pills. 

Tell me Emily, what’s the matter? I thought you were doing fine?

I’m quite busy at the moment, but I can make some time. 

 

Tell me what’s the problem, I’ve got five minutes free. 

Thank you daddy, it’s so important, it’s  my magic tree. 

The tree of life Emily? No, Daddy, THAT works fine for me.

Daddy, the magic tree remember? you made me sole trustee. 

 

You Mr Harbottle and I,  set it up us three.

It creates the money and sends it to me automagically. 

Ah, yes I recall, so what’s the matter with the magic tree?

Well Daddy, the problem is IT’S stopped sending me the money! 

 

I called Mr Harbottle to tell him it doesn’t work,

But when I asked for an explanation I spoke to a total jerk. 

Okay Emily, calm down, tell me why are you feeling sick?

Well Daddy, you know it happens when people call me thick. 

 

Well this man on the phone was mean, laughing about my tree.

I can’t believe a man like this actually works for me.

I mean the tree makes the money then sends it to my account.

It Grows faster OR slower and sends me a different amount. 

 

When I checked last week absolutely nothing had arrived!

There was nothing in my account, I don’t know if my tree’s alive!

And I know that I should try to fix this by by myself. 

You always say I should try and fix things without your help. 

 

But then I realised you must have many magic trees of your own.

Maybe MY tree has joined yours and found a new home. 

Do you think my magic tree has joined SOME ones of yours?

Maybe they’re together in a forest, in the great outdoors.

 

Maybe you didn’t notice because your money is not small, 

Daddy maybe you can check if your money’s gone up at all?

– Yes my money has gone up quite up a bit, it goes up all the time,

But Emily I’m not sure your magic tree has joined mine. 

 

Let me just call up Mr Harbottle to find out what’s going on.

I’m sure it’s something simple in the system that’s gone wrong.

You were very careful when you were looking after your tree online?

weren’t handing out passwords to your friends like that one time?

 

the men working for Mr Harbottle don’t want to talk to me,

They aren’t telling me the state of my magic money tree. 

And I think this kind of attitude is completely unacceptable 

I mean how do I know that my magic tree isn’t now a vegetable.

 

Mr Harbottle said the tree creates money as it grows,

But HOW can I trust Mr Harbottle? I just DON’T know!

Okay, Emily, let’s take it slowly, let’s not frown. 

I’ll give you some pills a little later, let’s calm down.

 

Let’s start at the beginning, we’re going to put this right. 

Now, what happens when you search for your tree on the website. 

Daddy, I told you, the magic tree’s not even there, 

The little numbers have vanished, I’ve been looking everywhere.

 

Look, when I log in, everything’s gone, I can’t see them here.

Like, the magic numbers are gone, It’s so not clear.

Okay darling, yes I can see there’s no flipping magic tree.

Your savings account has been cleared OF ALL its mo ney.

 

What’s happened to my magic tree, is it really not here?

-It says all the money has been withdrawn, sometime earlier this year.

Well you asked me to solve things independently.

once I did forget my password, so I got Chris to help me.

 

Chris the crackhead? the one in and out of jail. 

He wasn’t in and out of jail DADDY, I  helped him make his bail.

Chris helped get to my account, when they wouldn’t let me in.

He is such a superhero, I couldn’t of done it without him. 

 

I don’t know how you are so stupid, Emily, I’m astounded.

Your won’t receive money, the tree’s gone, you’re grounded.

You can’t ground me Daddy, I don’t live here any more, I’m 33.

And don’t call me stupid! Do you mean Chris stole my MAGIC TREE?

 

But Daddy, you’re going to help? You’re going to give me another tree?

What about my health, the cost of food, you know I’m gluten free?

If I don’t have my magic tree, how will my good causes stay alive?

Daddy if my magic tree stops paying, how am I supposed to survive?

 

You’ll get a job Emily, like the rest of us okay.

But I know that’s difficult, and I have a busy day.

So here’s what I’ll do, I’ll send my people over to see Chris.

And I know they’ll be able to get your money back from this. 

Daddy! Thank you Daddy, thank you so much. You’re the best best best Daddy in the whole wide world.